Terms of service

Last updated 2026-11-03. By using ASSJET you agree to these terms.

What this is today

A joke quiz and a waitlist. The quiz is for fun. The waitlist is a list of people who want to hear when the first batch is ready; joining costs nothing and promises nothing but an email.

The product, when it exists

A bidet attachment you install yourself with a wrench and the included valve, using cold water from your toilet's supply. Check the fit guide on the product page before you buy. We will say plainly if it will not fit your toilet.

Not medical

ASSJET is a bathroom accessory, not a medical product. We make no health claims. If you have a health concern, ask a doctor.

Installing it

You are responsible for a correct install. Turn the water off first, tighten the fittings and check for drips before you walk away. If you are unsure, ask a plumber; it takes them minutes.

Refunds

See the returns policy.

Limits

The service is provided as is. To the extent the law allows, we are not liable for indirect losses, and our total liability is limited to what you paid us.