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First time using a bidet: what to do, in order
Do your business, wipe once if you like, then sit back fully on the seat, turn the knob a little, let the water wash for a few seconds while you shift to aim it, turn it off, and pat dry. Start at the lowest pressure. On a cold-water attachment, the first spray is cold. That's the whole thing, and the second time is already normal.
This guide is for an under-seat bidet attachment, the kind with a knob on the side, which is what most people in the US try first. The same order works for a bidet seat and roughly for a handheld sprayer.
Before your first go: a 30-second dry run
Do this with your clothes on, the day you install it, not the moment you need it.
- Lift the lid, keep the seat down.
- Find the knob. Note which way is on. Note which way is "nozzle clean" or "front", if it has those settings.
- Hold a hand over the back half of the bowl, well clear of the nozzle, and turn the knob a tiny amount. Watch where the stream lands and how strong the lowest setting is.
- Turn it off. Now you know where the water goes and how far the knob has to move.
Most "first time using a bidet" reaction videos skip this step. That's why they're funny.
Step by step: your first time
1. Use the toilet as normal
Nothing changes here. Sit all the way back on the seat. An attachment's nozzle comes out from the back of the bowl, so it aims at where you'd be if you sat normally.
2. Wipe first, or not
Your call. Many first-timers wipe once with paper first, then use the bidet. It feels less strange, and it means the water has less to do. Others go straight to the spray. Both are normal. After a week most people know which they prefer.
3. Flush now, or after?
Either works. Some people flush first so the bowl is clean before they spray. Others flush once at the end so the paper and water go together. If you wiped first, flushing first is tidier. The bidet's water comes from the clean supply line, not from the bowl or tank, so flushing doesn't change what sprays at you.
4. Turn the knob slowly
Turn it to the lowest setting first. Give it a second. Then turn up a little if you want more. Household water pressure varies, and the same knob position feels different in different homes. Never start at full. You'll learn this once, either from this page or from the ceiling.
5. Aim by moving, not by fiddling
The nozzle is fixed. You aim by shifting your hips a little forward or back, or leaning slightly. A small move goes a long way. If the water is hitting the wrong spot, shift; don't crank the pressure.
If you have a vulva, the common advice is to keep the spray going front to back, not back to front, the same direction as wiping. If your attachment has a separate front wash nozzle, that's what it's for. More on aiming, the front nozzle and periods in how to use a bidet as a woman, and on where to sit and peeing standing up in how to use a bidet as a man.
6. Wash for a few seconds
There's no set time. Start short. Turn it off, check, turn it on again if you need to. Most people settle on a length after a few days.
7. Turn it fully off
Back to the off position, all the way. A knob left slightly open drips into the bowl.
8. Pat dry
See the next section. This is the step most guides forget.
9. Wash your hands
Same as always.
How to dry after a bidet
The bidet washes; it doesn't dry (unless it's an electric seat with a dryer). Your options:
| Way to dry | How | Good for |
|---|---|---|
| A few squares of toilet paper | Pat, don't rub. You're drying, not cleaning, so a couple of squares does it. | Most people, especially at first |
| A small personal cloth towel | One per person, kept separate from the hand towel, washed often | People who want to stop buying so much paper |
| Air dry | Sit for a moment before standing | When you're not in a hurry |
| Reusable "family cloth" wipes | Small cloths in a lidded bin, washed hot | Committed people |
Going without paper entirely? How to dry after a bidet without toilet paper covers cloths, how to wash them, and dryers.
Don't use the hand towel. Don't share a drying towel. Those two rules come up in almost every guide, for good reason.
What the first time actually feels like
- Cold. A cold-water attachment uses the water that comes into your tank. In winter, that's properly cold. The first second is the worst; most people stop noticing within a few days.
- Strange, then fine. Feeling awkward the first time is normal. Nearly every first-timer says the same thing about the second time: "oh, that's it?"
- Clean in a new way. People who switch tend to describe dry paper alone as smearing. That's the thing that makes them keep it.
- Funny. If you laugh, that's correct.
First-time mistakes, and the fix
| Mistake | What happens | Fix |
|---|---|---|
| Knob to full on the first try | A jet. Possibly the seat. Possibly you. | Always start at the lowest setting |
| Testing it standing up | Water over the rim and onto the floor | Test with a hand over the bowl, or sitting down |
| Sitting too far forward | The stream misses | Sit all the way back, then shift a little |
| Cranking pressure to aim | Too strong and still in the wrong place | Move your hips, keep the pressure low |
| Leaving the knob slightly open | Drip, drip, drip | Turn fully back to off |
| Drying with the hand towel | Gross for everyone | A few squares of paper or your own towel |
| Not telling guests | A shriek from the bathroom | One sentence: "the knob on the right is the bidet" |
Does a bidet spray everywhere?
Not if you're sitting on it. The stream goes up and lands back in the bowl. The mess stories come from turning it on with nobody sitting there, or at full pressure. Sit first, then turn it on; turn it off before you stand up.
Does a bidet hurt?
It shouldn't. At a low setting it's a gentle stream. If it hurts, the pressure is too high; turn it down. If you have pain down there anyway, or a medical condition, or you've just had surgery or given birth, ask your doctor before using one. We don't make health claims, and this isn't medical advice.
Your first week, day by day
| When | What to try | What to notice |
|---|---|---|
| Day 1 | The dry run with a hand over the bowl, then one real go at the lowest setting, paper first | Where the stream lands, how cold it is |
| Days 2 to 3 | Skip the first wipe once. Try a slightly higher setting | Whether you need the first wipe at all |
| Days 4 to 5 | Find your spot: a small shift forward or back | The knob position you keep going back to |
| Days 6 to 7 | Try drying with your own small towel, or fewer squares | How long the roll is lasting now |
| End of week | Paper-towel check on the joints under the tank | Dry joints, and whether you'd miss it |
If you'd miss it by day seven, it stuck. If you're still dreading the cold, that's useful too: a warm-water model is the answer, not giving up.
Sharing a bathroom: three house rules
- Knob back to off. Every time, all the way. The next person sits down expecting a toilet, not a surprise.
- Everyone gets their own drying towel, or there's paper. Nobody uses the hand towel.
- Tell new people. Roommates, partners, guests, parents visiting. One sentence by the knob is enough. A small sign works if you're shy; a big sign works if you're not.
Kids who are old enough to use the toilet alone can learn it the same way: lowest setting, sit back, knob off. Show them once.
Looking after it after your first week
- Run the nozzle clean setting, if there is one, every so often.
- Wipe the nozzle guard when you clean the toilet. Mild cleaner, no harsh scrubbing on the nozzle.
- Check the joints under the tank with a dry paper towel once a month. Dry means fine.
- If the spray gets weak, hard water may be clogging the nozzle. Run the clean cycle and check the hose isn't kinked.
Using a bidet when you're a guest, or abroad
In someone else's bathroom, look before you sit: find the knob, note the off position. Don't experiment at full power in a friend's home. In much of Europe a "bidet" is a separate low basin next to the toilet that you sit on after using the toilet; you use its tap, not a knob under the seat. In much of the Middle East and Southeast Asia you'll find a handheld sprayer on the wall. Same idea, different tool: water first, pat dry after.
FAQ
Do you wipe before or after using a bidet?
Either. Many people wipe once before, especially at first, and pat dry after. Some skip the first wipe. Both are normal.
Do you flush before or after using a bidet?
Either works. Flush first if you want a clean bowl before you spray, or once at the end. The bidet's water comes from the clean supply, not the bowl.
How long should you use a bidet for?
No set time. Start with a few seconds, check, and repeat if needed. You'll find your own length within a week.
Is the water cold?
On a non-electric, cold-water attachment, yes: it's the same water that fills your tank. Warm-water models need a hookup to a hot line.
Do men use a bidet the same way?
Yes. Sit all the way back, low pressure, shift to aim, pat dry. The only difference in most guides is the front-to-back direction for people with a vulva.
What if I hate it?
Give it a week; the first go is the weirdest. If you still hate it, an attachment comes off in about ten minutes.
Nervous before your first go? Take the bathroom god quiz and find out what your bathroom habits say about you. It's eight questions and no water is involved. Don't have one yet? Check whether a bidet attachment fits your toilet and how to install one, or browse all our guides.
Sources
- How to Use a Bidet Properly, Healthline (paper first at first, front to back, separate towels, shut off the T on attachments). https://www.healthline.com/health/how-to-use-a-bidet
- What Is a Bidet and How to Use a Bidet, ManyBidets (bidet.org). https://www.manybidets.com/what-is-a-bidet-and-how-to-use-a-bidet/
- How to Install a Bidet, TUSHY (turn the pressure knob slowly, pressure varies by home). https://hellotushy.com/blogs/bidets/how-to-install-a-bidet